Handling the Holidays

For many of us, the easiest and most rewarding thing in life on earth is to love and be loved by our animal companions. And it is the hardest and most excruciating sadness when we must say goodbye. I know from my experience as a grief counselor, that this sadness will not be with you permanently. Trust me when I assure you that you will heal from your grief. You will also grow from it. But, there are a lot of triggers during the holidays that bring your grief to the surface. Remember, the grief you feel is a reflection of the love you shared, it is a normal, necessary and healthy response to loss.

I truly believe, and tell folks at the pet loss support group, “A loving relationship so beautiful will not leave you permanently wounded and grief stricken. Although your companion animal is no longer here, he or she is forever a part of you, woven into the fabric of your heart forever.”

In an effort to help you navigate this holiday season without your beloved pet I want to share a few tips:

• First, slow down. Give up expectations of yourself or others to have the “perfect Christmas”.
• Set aside time to think about your beloved companion, allow your grief and give it expression.
• Create a special holiday ritual to honor your loved one.
• Embrace your memories and find comfort in them. This is the bittersweet part, our memories often bring us to both tears and laughter, but they are what sustain us through the years.
• Please do not feel guilty if you find you are enjoying yourself around the holidays.
• It is not disrespectful to the memory of your loved one if you have a good time, your loved one would be happy to know you are enjoying yourself.

My holiday wish for all of you grieving the loss of a beloved companion animal is this:

May your hearts be filled with and surrounded by gentle support and love. 
May the memories of the time you shared together bring you gratitude and grace. 
And may you find peace in the strength of the ever-lasting love between you. 
May you feel their love, and have joy again in your life on earth. 
Most importantly, thank you, for being a person on earth who loves the animals as they deserve to be loved.